Sunday, August 15, 2010

deceitful mind

This Sunday morning was beautiful but now it has become so gloomy, a gloomy Sunday. The rain contributes much of this gloominess i am feeling now. "time flies when your're having fun", true, so true indeed that it breaks my heart to know the good times i am having will end soon, soon enough for me. my soul is now like the stormy sea, waves after waves rocking the biggest of vessels. i have kept all of this bottled up inside of me but like a bottle of champagne, the bottle will pop if it is shaken hard enough continuously. today my bottle will finally pop. but not with joy, only despair. i am a deceitful person, not only to others but me, the one who i call myself, the one i am closest with but also the one i hardly even know. the one thing that i know right from the start that is wrong, very wrong indeed is devouring me inside, deep inside my heart. i cannot even tell is it me or is it something else that is controlling my emotions. if passion, love, hate, happiness, gloominess are just chemicals reacting to each other inside of me, then those chemical glands inside of me are malfunctioning, it hurts, it hurts me so.

cheers of joy to you, cheers

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